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Introducing Officer Cutie and Why I’m Still Single

I had a lovely weekend. Visited the ‘rents hung with the homies, had a great date and managed to do something touristy in my own back yard.

I spent Memorial Day on Long Island, and even ventured out East all the way to The End. Montauk Point. For some reason, I always imagined the lighthouse being bigger, but I thought it was still pretty dope. It was beautiful out there. Felt other worldly. The Atlantic Ocean spread out before me, vast, unending. It was very cold that day, to be the official weekend that kicks off summer, but it was fantastic. Me and my cousin played, “count the black people” we could see from East Hampton on to Montauk and back. Our tally was 28. Thank God for that family of five at the light house. LOL.

The Hampton Jitneys were rolling in full effect, (some only ten minutes apart) despite the funky weather. Monday was the only really nice day with sunshine we had all weekend. I’m sure the high rollers wanting to enjoy a Hamptons Memorial Day were disappointed.

After checking that out and getting myself a lighthouse magnet for my collection for the fridge, me and my favorite cousin made our way to the Lobster Roll A.K.A. Lunch, a very popular roadside eatery. The food was delish and so was the girl talk.

I couldn’t have been happier, until Monday, when I finally met up with a cutie NYPD officer, who I had met in the fall of last year online. I kept saying when I would come home, he and I should get together and it never materialized. I reached out to him around the time I got my plane ticket, because I refused to drive on such a busy holiday. Luckily, he was down to hang.

We had a great lunch and then we went to Dave and Buster’s and played games, shot pool, had a mean game of air hockey and even did bowling. I’ve been to Dave and Buster’s a few times, and I don’t think I’ve ever done so many activities in one visit. Normally me and friends pick one thing and keep it moving. But it seemed like we didn’t want our little date to end.

Officer Cutie was courteous and really sweet. I’m digging him. And of course I dig him and he digs me because I’m the long distance queen and I can’t seem to keep a man in the DC/MD/VA area to save my life, even though I’m really trying to actively date.

We got so comfortable at one point, I had to give him a kiss on the cheek for every gutter ball, and I had no problem with this. I told him I was a woman of my word and would pay what I owed. He managed to get a good eight kisses. And no, I didn’t suck on purpose!

He was cuter than his photo, which made me very happy. But here’s the other thing that sticks with me.

He’s quiet. He’s very calm. But I guess you can’t get rattled easily if you police one of the roughest neighborhoods in NYC. That’s what’s fascinating. He wasn’t aggressive, which I figured cops had to be. He was so, cool. Easy. He spoke softly. He seemed humble. He had things to say, but he didn’t dominate a conversation. He wasn’t imposing. I enjoyed his company but worried when we had pauses in conversation. Sometimes I worried I was too loud or goofy.

You all know how quick I am to knock men from New York and go on ad nauseum about how ridiculous they are and how they often want to be players and talking fast and trying to trick and stay 20 steps ahead. So Officer Cutie made me eat my words.

I felt like a lady and safe around him, he was just flirtatious enough without being disrespectful or pushy and he smelled soooo frigging good.

I think I’m still high off of the scent of his cologne. At the end of the date, we hugged, exchanged kisses on the cheek and I mentioned that he should visit Maryland. He told me he would need an invite and so I invited him. He smiled.

When I was at the airport, he sent me a text saying he really liked me and he hoped we’d see each other soon. I returned the sentiment. But something tells me this may get interesting. However, long distance? Again?

Not trying to really think about it. But I did like how I felt around him and I’m trusting that feeling and I don’t want to ignore that because he is in NY.

I’ve got some local online prospects that I’m trying to vet. We’ll see how they stack up. When I am actively dating, men tend to eliminate themselves and one guy always rises to the top. It actually helps me focus and narrow the field quicker and not waste time with fruitless encounters.

In a recent conversation I had with one guy, who I am interested in going out with soon, he asked that question that I get often. “You seem cool, attractive, why are you single?”

I’ve written about this loaded question before, but now I have a new perspective on it.

And this is what I said.

“I’m single right now, because I’m single. The right man for me just hasn’t revealed himself to me just yet. I’m confident it will happen because I’ve been through enough now to know how to properly identify him when he comes. So for now, I’m meeting people and talking and that’s cool. He’ll show up.”

I honestly feel that way now. There’s no way he’s not going to show up. My life is love. I have so much love for my friends and family, there is no way I’m destined to be alone, there’s no way that the God who loves me wants me to struggle and not have the emotional, physical, spiritual love that I want and need. No way. It may not be the timing I want, but I feel like I’ve been finally given all of the tools to help me identify him, regardless of looks, status or financial status. I’m going to know who he is when he shows up. (Thanks Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of “Calling in the One”).

That’s been my prayer. Lord, help me identify him, and help me quickly identify those who are NOT him and help me exit quickly.

I know exactly what I need to feel. I know what I’m supposed to feel when he speaks, and when he looks at me. I know what to listen for, I know what not to ignore. I’m confident he will answer any question I ask him comfortably and without hesitation, because he’ll know he’s been looking for me too and there’s no reason to hide or not be truthful. I’m thankful for that. I couldn’t say that a year ago or even two years ago.

Things are about to heat up yall.

I can feel it…

A Loaded Compliment

I got a text tonight.

“You’re too pretty and fun to be single. Next time we’re face to face, you have to come clean. What are you hiding? :)”

And I said:

“Hmm. I told you I can be moody. I’m type A. I’m hard on myself. I’m sensitive. I hold things in. I often want to keep the peace to my own detriment. I’m non confrontational. I have high expectations for people I’m certain can live up to them and I take it hard when they disappoint me. I can blow up a bathroom after a hearty meal. If we order two fries to go, I’m going to steal some of your fries and act like I didn’t.”

He replies: “I would draw the line with fries. The other stuff I could deal with. :)”

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