One of my obsessions from 2012 that I will probably carry into 2013 is a compass.
Pretty simple huh? I might as well start fire with stones and sticks.
I have a Pinterest board dedicated to all things compass, primarily great jewelry or even a tattoo or two.
Something about a compass inspires me, because in my opinion a compass appeals to the side of us that’s willing to venture out into the unknown, but also gives a certain nod to the side that seeks security in at least having some clue as to what direction we are headed.
I admire the compass even more for what it did for folks, pre GPS, and how most of us can’t even look up in the sky and figure out direction according to the sun and stars.
The compass has a certain meaning to me. I featured a compass on one of the shirts I designed, with a heart at the center.
I hoped that the wearer of the shirt would “follow their heart” because, usually, as convoluted or as strange as it may feel, even counterintuitive at times; following your heart/gut/spirit or if you believe in God, and/or following what He’s saying to you will always lead you to the right place. Always.
But there are days like today, where I get tested about that.
As I wait almost a month to hear back from what I believe to be a dream job, things are going in strange directions at my current job, where a co-worker has pointed out, may actually benefit me. If I squint and cock my head to the side, I can sort of make out the potential truth in what this super optimistic person has said.
Prayer is a powerful thing, but I said this one particular prayer out of fear and mainly the fear of rejection: “Lord, help me to accept if I don’t get the dream job, and help me to accept it if it’s your will, I remain at the old.”
I feel like God has given me a compass, when I’m begging for a GPS right now.
He’s given me everything I need to move forward, but I want specific turn-by-turn directions.
Today, a compass, today, just knowing the sun rises in the east and sets in the west ain’t enough. I want to know exactly where I’m going.
I want that phone call and the yes.
Or, I want my current job to say, hey, you’ve been through a lot and now that we’ve moved the one person left on your team to another department and it’s just you, because we can’t hire anyone else until um, March (who said I was going to be here in March to train them, eh? and I’m the only one now who does and knows this super essential stuff), we are going to give you a $20,000 raise to truly satisfy you and make up for the pay cut you had to take a few months ago.
So, all I’ve got is a compass on a shirt and the one in my heart and right now, it doesn’t seem to be leading me anywhere.
I hope I see the way clearly soon…