I am a complex mish-mosh of feelings today and it’s not even my time of the month just yet.
I want to start off by dedicating today’s post to a friend who has been described as and even self-described as one who loves fairy tales and Disney movies.
That element of innocence and joy makes her endearing. We need people in our lives who have an unfaltering belief that love will always win.
The world has too few of those people as it is.
The concept of fairy tales has captured my mind today. Lancelot asked me months ago what my fairytale was, and I was stumped. I stumbled through something about having a book signing and the man of my dreams standing in the back wearing a suit, holding flowers (in front of his face like Bruce Leroy from the end of the The Last Dragon) there to support me.
I totally stole that from Sex and the City, when Mr. Big showed up to Carrie’s book signing in California and the Last Dragon.
I think it’s sad that as creative as I am, I couldn’t conjure up a fairytale. Maybe because I’ve been trained in writing the facts and telling the truth in what I write, the fantasy side of my brain is far less used. As grown, responsible people, we trick ourselves into believing that imagination is childlike. But imagination used properly fuels our existence, it gives us hope, it transforms our mundane situations. Imagination and the power of transformation it holds, is just as real as a hand in front of your face.
And as children do oh so naturally, we need to step back and celebrate it sometimes. No matter how ridiculous it seems.
But even thinking about today’s blog, for inspiration, I had to look up some youtube videos of the Cinderella movie with Brandy and Whitney Houston. Loved that friggin movie when it came out in 97 and I remember taping it on VHS. This was not to be missed, and this was to be savored over and over. When Whitney died, you couldn’t find the DVD anywhere, people were snapping it up. I think I’m going to order it on Amazon. Anyway, I loved the characters, loved the music, it was awesome.
That movie reminded me of how fun imagining and dreaming about love could be. Hell, that’s all poor Cinderella had to get her through her days.
And I thought more about fairytales and women being rescued and love solving everything and good winning over evil.
I thought about how excited I am and impatient I am about the possibility of what can be with Officer Cutie.
I’ve realized Officer Cutie totally fits into the hero role in a literal sense and it’s ridiculously attractive to me. That surprises me. Sometimes I have difficulty really, really believing that I can close my eyes and know for a fact that the man of my life has got IT and got ME.
Oh God. I’m attracted to Officer Cutie, well because he’s cute and nice and I am feeling butterflies. I want him to come visit like now. He had a simple request that I take him to the Smithsonian museums and national monuments on his trip. I got that! Easy. But God! Ding, ding. I’ve been craving a man whose sense of duty and discipline and clearly defined lines of right and wrong guide his life and his decisions. Officer Cutie is stable and responsible and just cool (Seemingly. It’s still early).
As a 31-year-old woman, the game has changed. My desire for stable and responsible is at a fever pitch. The quasi feminist in me be damned, I need rest.
I’m hot for this man because he is a living, breathing, human representation of good (seemingly), he’s a brave alpha male appealing to my natural inclination as a woman for such things like protection. Damn. I’m such a girl. I understand my wiring now. Oh boy. Now that I’ve said all of that, I’m praying he’s not the Training Day cop. That would be such a let down.
Oh, I’m trippin right now yall. Wow.
It seemed easy to tell him that in the middle of a fierce thunderstorm with lightening yesterday, that it scares me.
It felt even better to hear him say that if he was there, I wouldn’t be scared and that I’d start to look forward to storms because he’d cuddle me to my heart’s content.
I replied, “That’s one hell of a cuddle. I’m all about that.”
I still can’t think of a grand fairy tale with dragons and stuff.
I just want to not be alone during a thunderstorm and cuddled.