I always have a saying that when a date is going bad, “you gotta take your purse and exit.” I often use that in a literal and proverbial sense.
A wise cousin once said to me, online dating can be a curse because you meet so many people and if you don’t like something about them right away, you can start up something new immediately. You aren’t really seriously giving anyone a real chance.
She may be on to something.
Even while dealing with this “Mad Scientist” situation, my options are open. I actually have too many options and they flood my pof account daily.
I think I’m selective, but it’s not unusual for me to engage in conversations with three men at a time. There are two men who are ready to be promoted to phone conversations, and I had to laugh. They both sent me the let’s talk on the phone message, within minutes of each other.
Mad scientist mentioned me wanting something “shiny” and saying he is not that. But I think it’s a little hypocritical and makes me seem basic, when he said himself, he doesn’t want to get bored by a person. To me that’s like Miley Cyrus calling Kim Kardashian an attention whore, just in Latin.
But meeting someone new can give you hope that they might actually be cool and worth spending time with. But I have left a lot of text messages and voicemails unanswered because someone newer and shinier came along.
But isn’t that the point of dating? Shouldn’t a person meet a bunch of different people, talk to them gather the vibe and then weed out the ones that don’t spark? I think so. And just as I check my messages on POF, I see the same three guys in my rotation online at the same time as me, yet they aren’t always in conversation with me. I’m just doing what the Romans are doing. They are dropping conversations with me, as they meet people who better fit into what they like, just as I am.
It’s a strange world we are in right now. It feels as if there truly are no rules and we have to just fend for ourselves.
Mad scientist was right about one thing. There is a script. I do feel like a couple of times a day, when I’m on the site, I’m repeating my “dating elevator pitch.” Where I’m from. How long I’ve been in the area. What I do for a living. What I like to do for fun. What school I attended. Why I’m single. And asking the same questions in return.
I was thinking about something while lying in bed. How I want to forget what it feels like to want love. I remember when I was in love, there were moments I just stopped to savor it, and I tried to remember what it was like when I felt so lonely or when I was waiting for the person I was with. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t remember that feeling. I was relieved that I couldn’t remember, and I said that life is cyclical, the likelihood is high that I’ll feel that way again and be unable to feel the way I feel now, so yup, I’ll breathe it in. I’ll snuggle in closer while he sleeps and I’ll listen to him breathe. And when he looks at me the way he looks at me, I will eat it all up. I will eat it all up. When he takes my hand, I’m going to fight to remember just how it feels because this moment will slip away. And when I am alone and wanting to remember so bad, I won’t be able to, but I’ll know that it happened. I’ll know at that time it was real.