Oh folks. It’s that time of year once again.
If you are blessed to have a gig, many of you are about to go to your office holiday shin dig.
The big willies will come down from their ivory towers to kick it with the worker Whos, who will try to imbibe as much free alcohol and eat as much free grub as they possibly can handle. After all, we deserve it. It’s the least they can do right?
Then the super ambitious folks, will take turns trying to find something of substance to say to the important folks, who will forget who they are on the ride home back to the Emerald City office.
LOL. I know I’m mixing so many stories and references. I’m amused, aren’t you?
Anyway, I’m no different. My company shelled out a decent amount of dough to ring in the holiday season at a local nice hotel/conference center.
There were a number of things I peeped at the party that was just fascinating to me.
One person in management had a super come up this year, while basically everyone else suffered.
And he showed it. And we all noticed it.
Homeboy strolled in fresh out of the Joseph A. Banks winter collection. I swear I heard Outkast’s “So Fresh and So Clean” when he hit the room.
With a large glass of cab in my hand, I said what everyone was thinking, “Oooh somebody’s brand new…”
So he gets the 2012 NeNe Leaks come up award. Congrats.
I’d like to give the Psy International Infiltration award to the Asian lady who just randomly crashed our holiday party and did not give a good gosh darn and made herself a plate, sat down, smiled a lot and pretended to be lost and unable to understand English.
She was from another event down the hall, and the organization holding it is quite international and quite medical. She knew some damn English. She came during the mingle wine and beer hour, and returned yet again when the buffet was on and then helped herself to some dessert and coffee.
I fell out. She was so gangsta, I could not be mad at her. I mean she really acted like she was supposed to be there. Man, I need her level of guts. I enjoyed her immensely. I strive to be like her in 2013. That level of don’tgiveadamnness is legendary.
Ok, so finally, let’s get to the more grinchly matters.
There’s a girl at work who is friends with a former friend. I’ve written about this former friend before and I think I’ve written about how this co-worker obviously hates me now due towhatever this former friend has said about me.
Like, I think this woman thinks I am personally responsible for H1N1, athlete’s foot, cramps, and death. We ended up sitting at the same large table at the party. She ignored me, which takes skill and concentration only sitting one person away. And hey, I’m not going to go out of my way to hate you equally when you are working so hard to dislike me. So I left her alone. She wouldn’t even get involved in general table conversation if I was speaking. The looks, just everything was too much.
The good news is, she’s relocating to another state and I’ve been working from home, so we don’t see each other that much anyway. But from the eye darts this woman has been throwing me, you’d think I’d slept with her husband and played a video with director’s commentary, sitting on his lap, playing with his hair at the holiday party.
So it leads me to wonder, what the hell did my ex friend tell this woman I did to her?
It doesn’t matter. God don’t like ugly. In fact, my homie God made it so that I won a $100 gift card to Best Buy!
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The whole table cheered and congratulated. The disgruntled co-worker, not so much.
Can’t steal my joy, I’m about to put $100 on a new laptop!!! Whoo hoo! Praise sweet baby Jesus!
I’ve decided not to give it any more energy, but it cracks me up how folks can decide to dislike someone who they were generally cool with and pleasant to and then suddenly act like this person was the first person to introduce rappers to skinny jeans. I’d hate them too, but that person deserves the kind of venom ol girl was serving up more than me. So once again this ex friend is a jerk, and has solidified that my life is loads better without her being in it. That kind of foolishness is annoying. Lord I’m glad I have mature, awesome friends in my life who don’t have that kind of time. Thank you again, sweet baby and grown Jesus.
It was like just the sound of my voice was grating on her last nerve. Once again, immature to hate someone by proxy, especially if they’ve done nothing to you and was always nice and polite to you.
So there you have it…
Speaking of office holiday parties, New Guy invited me to his… Yes, I’m blushing and smiling. Looks like things are moving along nicely… stay tuned.
There was a really funny do’s and don’ts list for holiday office parties that I saw earlier this week and now I can’t remember where to look. I wanted to share! I’ll have to add it later.
Have a great time this season, don’t lose your job!