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Archive for the tag “Nikka Costa Push and Pull”

The Odd Return Of Kyle Barker

Just as I’ve been feeling butterflies about the New Guy, Kyle Barker has reared his beautiful, bald head.

I’m glad our exchange was via text. When he flashes “that grand piano of his” as Dorothy Dandridge would coo, in Carmen Jones, it’s curtains for me.

Here’s the thing. Kyle hasn’t really gone anywhere. I just haven’t been paying attention too him as much.

He’s kept up with me, sending quick texts, how are you? How was your weekend? How’s your family in NY after the storm?

After he crushed me other times, saying he sucks at relationships, he didn’t want to be a rebound, he’s putting me in the little sister box, I just gave up.

Kyle Barker is the Big to my Carrie.

I ain’t gonna front. We have energy, but the back and forth, the tug of war is exhausting.

So after a few texts yesterday where I said it was nice of him to ask about my family, he said something like, he tries.

To which, I replied, “I plead the fif.” (See Dave Chappelle)

He asked me early this morning, “Why are you so hard on me, baby?”

I basically said, I have my reasons, but they don’t matter anymore.

He asked me not to speak in code and elaborate.

So I did. I said in a nutshell that I’ve been crushing on him since forever and that it’s wack he won’t return my affections. And I kept holding out hope that at the very bitter end, we could actually be something real. But I accept the situation, and I’m over those dreams and aspirations for real this time. He brought up the fact that I was in a delicate situation, post breakup and he did not want to be a rebound.

He said the fact I talked about my old relationship so much, it “factored into his decision.”

I told him I cut ties with my ex and I’ve been dating and right now there is someone leading the pack and I want to see where it goes. He advised me not to mention my ex as much (which I’m not doing anymore anyway).

He sighed.

I thanked him for the advice and said, it’s not a big factor anymore and I don’t mention my ex, unless I’m asked these days.

Then out of nowhere, he says, “You’re a good woman, you deserve the best.”

What? A straightforward, non-sexual compliment??? So what are you saying, Kyle? We’ve been going through all of this, you actually wouldn’t mind being in a relationship with me, but I had to get myself together and prove I’m over my ex?? What’s going on here?

I’m picking the guy who is showing interest, who calls me, who plans to see me and won’t take an entire day to respond to a text.

Oh, Kyle.


Kyle is going to have to play the background. New guy has my attention and I’m excited about that. Just as I was ending my convo with Kyle, New Guy sends this text:

“…But random note. I have known you a short time, but I think you’re a really great person. You have great drive and such a positive energy. (Sounds like a hippie, right, lol) But I mean it. Have a great day, lady.”

That seals it. New Guy deserves my attention. If Kyle Barker is going to be around, he’ll be around. If our paths cross romantically one day, then fine. But right now, I really, really want to see where it goes with New Guy.




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