It was New Year’s Eve and I rang it in with my new year’s date I mentioned in another blog and another homegirl and it was fabulous.
My one friend suggested that we write down something we want to leave behind in 2011 and then rip it up. We didn’t have to tell one another what we wrote, just write it down, rip it up and toss it.
I had a previous blog about the power of writing things down, and it seemed like partaking in this simple exercise was a really great idea. Besides, I don’t like making resolutions anyway. Doing this was a natural fit and the ripping of the paper really makes it feel permanent and seals the deal.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. I didn’t hesitate not one bit, I knew exactly what I wanted to let go for the new year.
Fear paralyzed me in 2011– fear of the future, fear of failure, fear that I wasn’t good enough, fear of not living up to my purpose, whatever it is.
Because I had a REALLY good time, my piece of paper kind of stayed in my glitzy clutch bag, so I didn’t rip it up and throw it out until now.
Now that I think about it, maybe I was already subconsciously kicking fear to the curb by finally taking the shoes I had planned to wear for my canceled wedding off of the shelf, wearing them and dancing the night away in them.
They were shoes intended for a celebration, and the time had come to transform them from a shrine to my failed relationship, into a statement of victory.
I made it through one of the toughest emotional years of my life.
The photos from last night reminded me of the girl I missed so much this past year. She was fun, she was funny, she was stylish and best of all, she was fearless (you have to be if you are wearing a yellow dress that requires boob tape).