I was sitting in church yesterday after a long hiatus. I didn’t want to go, but I felt really compelled to be there. All in all, I’m glad I went. I needed it. But back to the initial thought of this post.
Sitting in a row ahead of me was an attractive young woman. She was into the service, it was all to the good. Maybe about 15 minutes later a male companion arrives and sits next to her.
For the duration of the service, she is rubbing his back, laying her head on his shoulder, holding his hand and in my opinion, just being extra. It wasn’t a packed service, so I kind of had the feeling she was putting on this show just for me.
Actually sister, I’m happy you have a man. I’m super happy for you that he joins you and is just as enthusiastic about worship and the word as you are, because this brother was taking notes and everything. He was all in.
But, your holy equivalent of peeing on your territory was too much, and in fact it was distracting.
I won’t front. If you are really into church, going to God’s house together is a really awesome feeling. And when your loved one actually wants to be there and is getting something out of it, you do feel mighty good about it. I knew I’d wave my hands a little more when I had my rock on my finger, but I was never to the point where I was PePe Le Pewing with my man throughout the entire service.
I have to say, she had him trained. When they do the obligatory say hi to five people thing, one, she didn’t even speak to me. Two, this brother gave me a high-five. I guess a handshake is just too much and a hug is certainly out of the question.
Whenever they do the greeting thing at church, I never hug men who are clearly with women. I don’t know them like that. And I honestly barely hug other men. Some of the older cat daddies seem to love this portion of the service and they will climb over about six rows to get to you, but hey, get in where you fit in.
The whole exercise in insecurity was comical to me. I get the competition is horribly stiff for finding a man in church especially if there are single men in your church.
I even understand how women can get super territorial of a man, when entering into a space where there is usually more women than men, and women looking for men. But I think this kind of paranoia in church is really, really scary.
A dear friend of mine was talking about getting a friend request from a high school rival of mine.
“Didn’t so and so hate us, you especially?” she asked.
As we talked, I told her she did happen to manage to get married and have a pretty cute kid. Which made me launch into the, how the heck are these mean ass women getting married? To which my awesome friend responded,
“Oh well. That just means they have a longer life sentence.”
I fell out. That perspective made me think again about the *dare I say it again* gift of the season of being single.
So, basically if you are a church chick, and you have a man and your man loves going to church like you do, I congratulate you. I’m happy for you, because if I believe in God, which I do, I already know your man is NOT my man, but that the Good Lord has someone just for me. But please, please, please have a little faith. You don’t have to spend the entire service proving to people outside of your relationship that you’re in one. We get it. That’s your man.
We ain’t here for you, boo. I’m just trying to get my mind and spirit right before I walk into another crazy week.