A long time ago, the old folks in church often liked to say, “When you pray to God, the Devil listens too.”
Last night, I prayed for my love life. I’ve started to do that more. For some reason, I never did. I always prayed for good health and peace of mind for my family and loved ones, prosperity, favor at work, but for some reason, I left God out of my love life.
So, last night, I prayed for a partner who was serious about loving me and protecting me and sharing his life with me.
Apparently, like an annoying little sibling, the Devil was on the kitchen phone (I know, I used to eavesdrop on my older sister).
I wake up late today, and I wake up to a good morning text from, none other than “Kyle Barker”.
You all know him. The suave, good-looking, intelligent man who rocks my world, but makes me a mess. Per the usual, we had a drag out some time last year and haven’t spoken for several months. I had said enough was enough.
But the other part to this that makes it so odd, is I thought about him as recently as yesterday.
A friend mentioned a few days that I should just hook up with him and rid myself of this serious lusty itch, I’ve got going on.
I said I couldn’t lower myself to call. I had too much pride and last year, I had nearly made it an entire year, without having sex. I owed it to myself to be strong. He wasn’t really worth it.
I had to hold myself accountable.
A simple good morning, and I was swirling. Questions, all over my head. What do I say? How do I respond. Be cool, ice-cold.
I said I was surprised to hear from him and that I thought of him just the other day.
To which, he replied he hoped I thought good things and that he was changing his number.
To which, I replied, my thoughts were good enough, however, when it came to him, the lines of good and bad often mingle and become murky. Then I told him I hoped all was well with him.
Then he threw down the gauntlet, said he missed me.
I would have been ok, but why did he say that?
I asked my best male friend what the deal was and if he was lying. My boy says he’s lying.
I know God works fast, but He isn’t the author of confusion.
He wouldn’t have me be with someone incapable of protecting me and my heart and this person has been careless in the past. This person has always confused me if nothing else. This person never really actively pursued me in the way I now realize a man should.
So maybe today’s text exchange was a test of sorts, to see just how much I’ve grown. If I can think for myself and be strong enough not get caught up in someone who always made me feel so weak.
I won’t blame the Devil, this time.
Either way, it’s going to be on me.