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Archive for the tag “affirmations”

Short Post: I Realized I Have A Relationship Elevator Pitch

When you are online dating, you find yourself repeating the same song and dance over and over. And if you are speaking with someone you are interested in, you give a little more, you give more details, more color.

As I meet new men almost everyday online who see my profile and want to say hello, I’m realizing something very interesting.

It’s almost like the “elevator pitch” business people have to give quickly and with impact to make a deal, or develop a new business opportunity with someone who can take them to the next level.

Saying over and over again what you are looking for and what you want and don’t want in a relationship and in a partner is actually quite powerful.

I was thinking to myself that, doing this is basically like an affirmation and the more I do it, I think the more that type of man will come and enter my life, and it will give those who aren’t on my program the chance to exit peacefully and quietly, no hurt feelings.

There is a wonderful liberation in plainly saying, this is what I want. This is what I don’t want.

You don’t have to be a jerk about it or have a super specific, super long list, because no one really wants to hear that. But if you lay down some serious must-haves and deal-breakers it helps. I’ve also found that it’s important to not just drone on about what you don’t want, but talk about the qualities you like and how those qualities make you feel.

It’s Already Been Decided

I’ve been wrapped up in knots about a major opportunity that I’m hoping happens for me.

Knots.

The anxiety has been making me nuts.

I’ve been very careful not to give folks too many details, for fear of jinxing it. And not even jinxing, but I’ve learned there are times you need to sit still, be quiet and keep your mouth closed. You go about your business and when it’s time to reveal something, especially once you’ve attained it, instead of each and every detail of the process, the fewer questions you have to answer along the way and even after, if it doesn’t work out.

One of my favorite mentors in the world basically affirmed me yesterday in a simple statement.

“It’s already been decided.”

Boom.

She is another woman of faith, who doesn’t beat you over the head with religion, perse, but with her actions, with her words of affirmation and comfort, you know God leads her life. No sign, no pamphlet, no guilt.

The history with this person is strong. When I didn’t know her very well, I stepped out on faith and told her just how close I was to failing and getting fired at a particular job early in my career.

She asked me why I didn’t come to her sooner. She didn’t see me the way the other superiors saw me. She saw talent, drive and promise. From that point on she called me a weeble (80s babies know what the weebles are. They are a family of egg-shaped people who can be dropped and will wobble around, but still stand up straight no matter what you do.). When she referred to me as such in a message yesterday, I just wanted to cry and hug her for a while. We used to do that too.

She addressed my enemies and said she would be personally responsible for me and whipping me into shape. She went to the mat for me when I was even starting to doubt myself as a reporter and writer and she helped me focus. She stabilized my confidence during one of the most difficult times in my career. She is a major influence on me. I am forever grateful to her. Words are not enough.

So, let’s get to how all of this started. She posted a video on Facebook where Oprah discusses how she got the role of Sophia for the Color Purple. She instantly had a connection to this book from the moment she read a review in the New York Times, and literally ran out of her house with a robe covering her pjs to buy it, and then basically inhale it in the same day. Then she bought more copies and gave them to anyone who’d take it.

When there was talk of a movie, she knew she had to be a part of it somehow.

She did not have experience as an actress and was scared and felt inadequate in comparison to others auditioning.

I was thinking about the opportunity before me. It’s bigger than anything I’ve ever done and if I had truly known from the start what I was getting into, I would have been too scared to go for it.

Oprah said in her video, that God’s plans for us are bigger than ourselves.

I wrote this as a Facebook post like two days ago.

She said she had to surrender and let go to whatever her fate was going to be and make the decision to be happy for whomever gotten the role if she didn’t. She said she prayed and cried and sang, “I surrender all.”

And she got the call. She was Sophia and it opened the way for her to get a national television show… and we all know what happened after that.

I told my mentor that I needed to see that clip, I needed to hear those words, because it was a straight affirmation for what’s going on in my life and the changes that are coming.

She said she knew it would speak to someone, and that she too finally had the opportunity to sit still and quiet her mind because she is on bed rest for her pregnancy (im thrilled for her new addition). But the biggest thing that hit me like a ton of bricks is when she said we have inside us all we need, but we have to trust it. “Keep me posted when you get the new gig. It’s already been decided.”

“It’s already been decided.”

Some people who have faith, they live in this everyday. It’s been decided. God has things already mapped out.

Some people believe in predetermination, where our fate is decided.

My anxiety lifted.

It’s been decided.

This is the video. I hope you’ll be inspired too.

 

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