If you read the headline, you might be completely confused.
Spoiler Alert: I got turned down by a hot guy, intelligent, community-oriented one at that. But, I managed to learn something.
And you’ll all learn what a black unicorn is. Keep reading.
So, thing number one. You may meet a hot guy doing a favor for someone else. It’s like a little reward for being unselfish. I have a co-worker who was starting a side gig at a community center up the street from my place. The co-worker lives pretty far, but needed to pick up and sign some paper work. So he asked if I could pick it up and bring it to work.
No problem. I arrange to pick up the paper work after work yesterday and I walk into the center ask to speak to the director and here is this fit, chocolate man with a nice beard. As he’s looking for the papers, I am smart enough to notice he’s not wearing a ring. I’m playing it cool and thinking, “Damn, he’s fine and he’s out here working with the chiren. This guy is EXACTLY my type.”
But I was overwhelmed. I had no game, I felt like I wasn’t really quick on my feet, so I really didn’t say much. I asked questions to clarify what my co-worker needed to sign and that was it.
The chocolaty do-gooder asked if I was coming back to turn the papers in. It made me tingle. I mean, did he care if I brought it back? Did I put out some vibes? What’s up? Yaaaas. And I told him that I didn’t know.
He responded that basically it didn’t make any sense for my co-worker to make the trip and I agreed and told him most likely if I were to return, it would be around the same time the next day.
The next day is today. I told my co-worker I thought this man was fine and I was interested. My co-worker confirmed he wasn’t married and to go for it. He handed me back the filled out paperwork.
To be on the safe side, I called the director informing him I’d be returning and if he’d be in the office again. He said he wouldn’t and I could just leave the paperwork at the front desk. Not wanting to lose my nerve, I took a deep breath and said, “I hope I’m not too forward, but I was wondering if you’d like to have dinner. I’m actually a student in a Master of Public Health program and I’d like to know if you’ve ever worked with public health folks for some of your parks and rec programs.”
So he said he didn’t. And I mentioned that there’s a lot of great opportunities with it. Realizing I needed to get on with it, I said, “Well, I’m calling from my cell phone and if you’d like to talk sometime or go out, would you like to do that?”
“Well, actually I have a girlfriend.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Well I’ll hand those papers into the front desk later today. Thanks.”
So, I got rejected.
But it wasn’t that awful.
What did I learn?
I learned that you just have to jump in. If you get a tingly feeling and you want to talk to a guy and you get a first chance or even a second chance, you should just do it.
Would it have been wonderful if he did want to hang out or talk further? Hell yes.
But I’m ok and actually proud of myself for trying, instead of walking away wondering what could have been, and being mad at myself for not speaking up.
I mentioned this scenario to a friend and told her how anxious I was about asking him out. I described him and his background (that I stalked on LinkedIn), and she simply responded, “Go get your black unicorn.”
When I told her that the mission was abruptly aborted, she said, “Well, there was a reason I called him a unicorn.”
I had to laugh. Him being completely single was probably a stretch, but it was a great lesson for me to just go for it. There really is nothing to lose. And his rejection was civilized and his let down was direct and humane.
He might be a black unicorn after all.
Black unicorns might exist.