Who Are We Really Competing With When We Critique The Exes’ Next?
Human beings are so competitive even when it’s absolutely useless to be so.
Especially when we are in an imaginary competition with our exes’ current girlfriend, wife.
The most ridiculous part is when we compete with women from his past.
So we compare ourselves regardless.
I’m thinner, I have a better body, I’m more educated, she has kids, I don’t and the list goes on and on.
Our friend even get in on the action, and as well-meaning as they are, even when you aren’t really thinking about the comparison game, they pull you into thinking about the comparison game.
It’s kind of petty, but it’s something we naturally do because we tend to think highly of ourselves, especially when it comes to the type of girlfriend we may have been to the other person who at one point agreed to be with us seriously, or even if it was a casual hookup or 40.
So we pull people we know nothing a part based on a scant amount of information, even if we’ve happened to take a look at their public social media accounts. If your competition is gorgeous, you look for any flaw in their body, intellect or personality.
If the person isn’t attractive, you question your exes taste, you say that they downgraded from you or upgraded to you.
And all of these things temporarily make us feel better, but why?
Your ex is an ex for a reason. It didn’t work out. What is it about human nature that makes us still care about what they think of us?
It’s probably that same part of us hoping that ex runs into us when we’re looking our best or us going that extra mile to be super fabulous if we know they are attending and event we’ll be going to.
Deep down inside, whether we still want the other person or not, we always want them to ALWAYS want us.
That’s why it’s easy to take a phone call from a friendly ex who wants to reminisce about the past or compliment you on a photo they happened to see of you online.
As I get older, bashing the past and present girlfriends of my exes or even guys I’ve been interested in is loosing its pleasure and just makes me feel petty.
It makes me ask internal questions about why I care and why I’m competing with someone who isn’t even thinking about me.
Or maybe she is and she’s comparing herself to me…