A few things have been swirling around in my head. And I’ve been making connections and comforted by the direction of where I’m headed because of the things I’m allowed to see, hear and remember.
Stay with me.
I’ve been fixed up. My sister said over the thanksgiving holiday that she didn’t understand how I could online date or meet men in random places. To her, it seemed the best way to really meet someone is getting recommendations from other people.
I’m not above that. It just always seemed my circle of friends were all in the same boat or didn’t really know anyone they thought would make a good match.
Enter a co-worker who I became fast friends with. The introduction was embarrassing, but straight to the point.
He opened a Facebook chat with all three of us, introduced us, said “ok, talk. Bye.” And we were off to the races.
Some texting and a great phone conversation later, we’ve planned for our first date. I’m nervous and excited all at the same time because our exchanges so far, without even seeing each other, have been great. Comfortable even.
If nothing else, whatever this may become will be good for me. And that is what I’m saying to the universe and I hope it accepts my sincere feeling. I would like to get to know this person and share their energy for whatever purpose they bring to my life.
What’s striking me about this person and what’s making me sit up and really take notice is just simply the way he speaks to me. It’s pleasant, it’s kind, it’s complementary. But it feels genuine. There’s an intelligent back and forth, but it doesn’t feel stuffy. He gets my sense of humor.
Weeks ago in church, the speaker talked about the extreme importance and responsibility of a man in a relationship and how he must speak positivity, and love and encouragement over his wife/girlfriend. Women kind of naturally support, but when your man speaks highly of you to others and speaks positively to you when he speaks to you, there’s something powerful about that. There’s an exchange of energy. And honestly, this can go without saying for any relationship. Kind words and being mindful of your words and being intentional about what you say goes a long way.
I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there is something intentional about the words this man uses when he speaks to me and I can feel that he’s very aware of this. There’s a confidence without being arrogant or presumptive when he makes a reference to us or the future. And when you like someone, it’s not creepy when a person says that early on, but it gives you comfort and it even gives you a compass.
Just him saying the words, “I’d like to take you out.” I knew stringing together those words were very intentional. He didn’t say, let’s hang out. Let’s chill. Meet me here or there. He said, “I’d like to take you out.” To me, this signifies that A. he’s making it clear he’s paying. B. This is a date. Not a hang out, not a meet up, not a let’s chill. This is an intentional date.
The modern dating game has been designed to be as ambiguous as possible, because no one wants to look like a fool, no one wants to like a person more than the other person likes them, no one wants to be vulnerable and take a chance because we’ve allowed ourselves to be punks and then congratulate ourselves for keeping our true feelings to the vest.
There are other things he’s said, other interests that dovetail with mine that have impressed me thus far. Now time and his actions will tell the rest. It’s not all one-sided. I want to be interesting and engaging and attractive to this person as well. I want him to see a light and positivity in me.
But oddly enough, I have an oddly good feeling about this… The fact that I’m struggling to pinpoint and articulate these feelings of excitement suggests that maybe I am headed in the right direction and it’s actually best that I can’t make sense of what I feel. I told a friend to remember a conversation we had tonight just in case this man is actually the one and to remember something else I kept saying years ago about something pretty unique and difficult to have that I wanted when I got married and the fact that he said he could actually make it happen.
Speaking over your life… speaking over the life of the ones you love. Intention. Love intentionally.
I do want to leave you with the definition of intention. The medical definition also hit me over the head. I like this word even more.
a thing intended; an aim or plan.“she was full of good intentions”
a person’s designs, especially a man’s, in respect to marriage.plural noun: someone’s intentions; plural noun: one’s intentions“if his intentions aren’t honorable, I never want to see him again”
2.Medicinethe healing process of a wound.