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Am I A Jerk?

The older I get and the longer I’m single, I really struggle with whether or not my reactions to dating and relationships are unreasonable.
After all, there’s compromise and give and take and thinking of others besides yourself.
But after moving my very hectic schedule around for a potential date with a handsome guy who says that I “talk too much” (see, I let that one go) “But sometimes you say really interesting things. I love that about you” I decided since I needed some handsome male energy, I’d stay up til the wee hours to write a paper that’s due tomorrow. A girl needs a little fun.
Welp, after confirming our date, he asks me if any of the places I had to suggest had televisions. I told him they did.
Then I told him I was hoping his focus would be on me.
“I will focus. But I really want to watch the game.”

For some reason, handsome or not. That text made me livid. I rushed to text my best male friend to help me react or not react, but he took too long. So I told my date we should postpone.

He hasn’t responded.

And that further shows me he’s not really that interested in me. Even though he claims he is.

If I’m going to move my schedule around and stay up all night to get my homework done, it needs to be worth it, for someone who values me and my time. I’m not playing second fiddle to the NBA Playoffs today. I forgot about this guy’s obsession with basketball. But I’m in no mood to compete for his attention tonight. I enjoy sports, but cmon, man. I do feel my reaction may be knee-jerk and I may be a little inflexible, but I also feel like I put a lot of effort into even taking time to go out with him. So looks like I’ll be in my sweats working on my paper tonight.

I hate fighting with myself about not taking this L and possibly ending up alone for the rest of my life because I couldn’t accept a little basketball with my dinner and drinks.

Oh well.

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6 thoughts on “Am I A Jerk?

  1. thenarcissistwrites on said:

    I feel you! What is it with guys and their crazy basketball obsession? Well, at least the playoffs will be over soon, right? 😛

    • It will be over soonish, but I just dont have the energy to compete. Yeah and this guy watches professional, college, high school it doesn’t matter.

  2. lawen83 on said:

    No, our time is precious (as is theirs) but if you organise a date it’s time to spend time with the person not watching a game!

  3. Exactly!! I’m glad you agree. I caught up with my best male friend and he also saw my side of the story.

  4. dbaham on said:

    I completely agree with you! I love the NBA Playoffs just as much as the next person, but it’s about him showing that your time (which is precious) is not a priority to him. Some may call that inflexible. I call it knowing what works for you and what doesn’t. Now, it would have been different if you were both planning to go out and watch the game together (even just on TV), maybe you were rooting for a specific or different teams, and it could be all a part of the date. But that’s not what this sounds like. This sounds like he was going to be looking over your shoulder at the TV while you talked… and nope, that’s not OK. You can talk to yourself at home while doing your homework lol

    Of course, I recently told a guy we should reschedule when he has more time to think of ideas for our date — so I may not be the one to give an opinion here.

  5. No, you are most certainly not a jerk. If you also wanted to watch the game, then his idea of a “game watching” date would be acceptable. Since you do not wish to also watch the game, then I think your request to postpone the date are reasonable. I think that’s better than going on the date and being angry because he’s watching the game.

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