I’m an independent woman. I’m proud of that.
And I want a man who can handle things and take care of business and is financially stable. I don’t mind treating, but I certainly want to be treated.
I’ve been told before that with the types of men I end up dating, it’s clear I like being in control. I want to steer the ship, guide the relationship. I’ve always balked at that saying that I’m old school. I’ll cook and clean and be the submissive. I don’t want to make the decisions all the time. I want to sit back and be proud of my man.
But maybe that’s not completely true.
The young one is flying in next weekend and as the days inch closer, I won’t lie. I’m excited. I’m looking forward to it.
When it comes to my long-distance men, I always pull out the stops. My visits have become thing of legend. And maybe that’s why when the reality of relationship comes rearing it’s head, things get a little fuzzy and feel mighty bland.
I’ve already made reservations to a great restaurant. He’s into all different kinds of music and wants to hear live D.C. go-go music, so I have some places in mind. And thanks to the big homie Living Social, we are going to a Maryland wine tasting and horse racing event. I’ve always wanted to go to the races and get dressed up and stunt, and he really enjoys dressing up, so this was a no-brainer and a new experience for us both.
So who’s paying? Welp, me.
He purchased an airline ticket, so I’ve paid for the tickets to the wine and race event, I’ll probably pay for our dinner and we’ll hash out the club/drinks etc.
Thing is, this is like a fantasy to me. I’ve already decided that being serious with this person is out of the question, but I still like him a lot and I am appreciative of the friendship we’ve managed to build since last summer. He’s been the most wonderful surprise (long phone calls and skyping into the night), and I want him to have an excellent time while he’s here. I also deserve an excellent time, so I’m willing to pay for it.
I used to think that older women spending money on especially younger men was kind of desperate and an attempt to buy and secure his attention and loyalty.
Being older, I realized it’s not that. Older women may have the most realistic view on the kinds of relationships they are in and dealing with and they act accordingly. Most importantly, they’ve decided they are going to get what they want out of the situation regardless to how it may or may look to the outside world. If they know they may make a little more or they are more established than their younger gentleman friend, it ain’t trickin if you got it or if you want to spend because you want to and you genuinely want to have a good time and you want that person to have a good time.
Do I have, um, expectations? Ha. Yes. I do. We are attracted to each other. We flirt. There’s chemistry there. But my expectations are not attached to how much money I may or may not spend that weekend. It’s because we’ve been talking that ish for months. The anxiety has been building.
I actually enjoyed sending him a text message bragging that he’s about to be upgraded. I’m turned on by it. He’s turned on by it.
I’ve already said, all things considered, if he were a bit older, it would be a no-brainer. I think I would be happy in a relationship with him. But he’s got a lot to learn and he’s got to get a little more focus going on.
So, I’m going to live in this moment. I’m going to make it wonderful and beautiful and let him make me insanely happy for a weekend. I don’t think it’s the move of a desperate woman, because I will find the kind of love I’m looking for. But right now, I’m too busy. I’m no Lady Eloise by any means, but I will enjoy showing him around and watching him experience a different area and not worry about things like his job, or anything else.
J-Lo, I get it, girl. Sometimes you just want to be happy and if it means financing the trip with the young boo that makes you feel good, then hell.
But it is funny that I feel a double standard if the guy was my age or older or had a better job or was local. Would I go through the same trouble would I want to grab the bill all weekend?
Hmmm. Honestly, when I was in a relationship, and there were things I really wanted to do, I think I have been generous. But I’ve never seriously dated men who made more money than me. So when we did do “the finer things” I paid, or we split the bill.
So it’s not a stretch for me to pay when I know a guy is on the come up. I want to have a good time, he wants to have a good time, we should have the good time if I can afford it. I don’t want to do it all the time, and I won’t do it all the time, but I guess it doesn’t really bother me.