29tolife

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Archive for the month “February, 2014”

Should Your Man Have a Say In What You Wear?

This blog is called 29 to life. So when I write about certain things, I write from the perspective of a grown woman who understands compromise in relationships and values it.

Recently, I saw a bunch of bloggers or people on Twitter with various opinions about Rapper/Actor T.I.’s reaction to his WIFE’S let me emphasize WIFE’s sexy Instagram photos.

And he said the following on social media:

“You have so much more going for u other than you a**. Although it is magnificent, I think u should spend just as much time showcasing those other things as u do ya #booty…Awesome pic tho. Luv.” – See more at: http://madamenoire.com/346855/t-checks-wife-tiny-showing-much-skin-instagram/#sthash.S5n4IXYA.dpuf
A lot of the websites are saying he “checked” her or put her in her place.
So of course all of the “independent women” chimed in about Tiny flaunting her assets.
I see it from two sides of the coin. I see it from Tip’s point.
That’s his wife. The mother of his children and most men want you to be appealing and attractive and they feel good about having a good-looking woman, but they don’t want your goodies all over the net. And they don’t want you to pose in ways that are suggestive in your photos.
I agree with this.
On the flip side, as a woman who is now into her 30s, I can see why Tiny is posting the photos. Tiny has like five kids.
It looks like she’s lost some weight and she’s probably very proud of herself and her body and is feeling really sexy.
I’ve already told folks, even if I lose 15 pounds, you can’t tell me nothing. I’m going to be feeling myself. And when you get older and have kids, you have to work extremely hard for your body.
But the best thing about getting older is if you are lucky and you’ve learned something, you really start knowing who you are in the inside and feeling good about that person. So when your outside is looking right, grown women can’t be stopped. So, I also understand where Tiny may be coming from too, wanting to show off a little bit.
I’m more on the modest side and I do think with age you can keep it sexy, but the more simple and subtle you keep it the more appealing you are. Times have changed. Women in their 30s, 40s, and even 50s (hey Michelle Obama!) are looking fabulous, taking care of themselves and wearing great flattering clothes.
We aren’t going off into that dark night with a whimper. And I love this.
But within the confines of a committed relationship, does the husband/boyfriend have a right to express his dislike for how a woman dresses or conducts herself on social media? I do like the fact that he didn’t tear her down, he did say it was an “awesome” pic. So he wasn’t out there just being a hater.
Some people have argued that should have been a private discussion. But I’m glad T. I. did it, because it opens up dialogue about how far should people in relationships go with semi racy photos online.
But there’s also a third leg to this chair. Women like Beyonce and Gabrielle Union are in committed relationships. But they have a different body type than Tiny. I think Tiny looks great, for the record. She would be considered thick in my opinion (and my scale of thickness is a sliding scale, I also think Jill Scott and Marsha Ambrosius are thick. I consider myself thick too). There’s a part of me that wonders if when women like Bey or Gabrielle wear bikinis or revealing outfits, their bodies are more accepted? I wonder if T.I. would be less critical if Tiny looked more like the chicks in the Blurred Lines video, or if his reaction would be the same…
What say you lifers?
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A Different Kind Of Party

Hey hey folks,

It’s me again, and I’m back.

I’m still on a high from a great week of doing all of the things I want to do. I kicked off 32 last Wednesday, at a local venue called the Strathmore after I treated myself to a great meal. At the Strathmore Mansion (a mansion next door to the large performance complex), I treated my ears to the lovely vocal stylings of Christie Dashiell. You may remember her as one of the lead singers of The Sing Off Season three stand out vocal group “Afro Blue.”

Watching her sing flanked by her very talented brothers on stand up bass and drums, I was witnessing something. And I knew that sooner or later she’s going to be ridiculously famous and well-respected in the jazz world for years to come.

By Friday, I had a “date” with a guy who I consider to be a friend, who I’m figuring wants more. I don’t mind him being around, but I’m not feeling him like that.

Saturday was the big night. About 12 friends joined me for a five-course Indian feast, made complete with a belly dancer. And I joined her and the crowd hooted and hollered, cheering me and my fabulous self on!

After the marathon meal, we sang and danced at a Karaoke spot where you can rent private karaoke rooms by the hour. We had a blast. All week, folks have asked did I party hard? Well, I wasn’t sloppy drunk, or even drunk at all.

I quickly had a glass of wine and maybe one drink, but was too busy mingling and swapping fun stories with some of the most fantastic people I know, drinking wasn’t the main thing on my mind.

I kept saying, as I mature, “It’s a different kind of party.” I like to have drinks, but I don’t surround my weekend around it. The people in my life made my weekend and my entire week. Folks showed up with gifts and love and smiles and warm hugs and I couldn’t have been happier.

I wasn’t even expecting gifts. I was being real when I said that none of those things mattered. I just wanted people to have a good time. Folks were expected to pay for their own meals, and I provided two hours of karaoke. Whatever drinks or extras they purchased there, they’d have to take care of individually.

Sunday, I enjoyed a great brunch with my cousin went to check out American Hustle which is an awesome movie and enjoyed the sorry football game with another good friend and her family. I was serenaded and presented with red velvet cupcakes.

Monday was my actual birthday and it was super low-key, which I didn’t mind. Before my cousin returned to New York, we had lunch after my 90 minute hot stone appointment. I think I like hour massages better. 90 minutes may be too long, but it was still heavenly anyway. Good times.

I was most excited when a gentleman caller who I am very interested in asked me if I had plans for the evening. It was a simple outing to a local steakhouse, but I enjoyed every minute. We cuddled by the fire at his home after and enjoyed an even hotter kiss. I was golden.

Being 32 is fantastic. I didn’t need to be in a club. I didn’t need a whole lot of alcohol, or not to remember what happened the night before to signal I had an epic night. Because it was just the opposite. And I was happy to remember it all and I will cherish the memories from my week for a very long time.

Oh, and to put the icing on the birthday cake, I was fourth row center witnessing the breath stealing Alvin Ailey Dance Company last night. They never disappoint. I love that their annual engagement at the Kennedy Center always falls on or around my birthday. It makes the time feel even more special as if they are celebrating me!!!

I just told a friend of mine, it’s an excellent feeling to have the people you love the most tell you all at the same time that you mean so much to them and that they love you and that they are glad you are a part of their life. It doesn’t make you conceited. It doesn’t make you a jerk to take those moments in and accept their gifts, and favors or when they reach to take the bill and shoo you away. I’m so glad to have these beautiful people to walk through life with.

And so far it’s been a great life at that. I can’t wait to see what’s ahead.

32.

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