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Introducing Dabnis Brickey

Well folks, we have a new guy to bring into the fold.

I’ve been holding out. I’ve been holding out on this one mainly because really, I’ve been tired of being disappointed. Still no word from the Candidate, even though my cousin thinks he’s going to pop up and I’m being impatient, while I don’t think he’s going to show up.

Anyway, I’ve carefully nicknamed this one guy I met from POF Dabnis Brickey, after a character on the Cosby Show who Vanessa Huxtable dated during the last season of the show. Vanessa met the older Dabnis, at her college where he was a maintenance man or head of maintenance.

I’ve named this new guy Dabnis, because basically that’s what he does for a large public school district in the area.

So, we’ve had some pretty good conversations and even though we had a dinner date planed for Friday night, a twist of fate led to us meeting up for drinks and a little food after work on Thursday.

There was a massive storm that blew through the area. I knew that traffic would be horrible, so when he said he would love to see me that night, I told him I wasn’t jazzed up, but it would be great to wait out the madness and head to my neck of the woods a little later.

So we talked, we enjoyed our conversation and we even went bowling after.

So, in my usual form, Dabnis is short. He’s probably easily 5’6 or 5’7 at the most, very lean, but well-built. Short, short hair cut and a lovely brown man with a thin goatee.

From what I can tell of Dabnis, he comes from a fairly large family with southern roots. He did go to college for one year, but I’m not sure what exactly happened. He seems to be a very hard worker and he enjoys his work and is proud of what he does.

He does live at home with his parents, and he says he has been saving money to buy his own home. He does go to church. Truth be told aside from being able to tell my father on father’s day that I went to church, I also wanted to tell him I made it to church today too.

There are a few interesting things about Dabnis. He seems to have a very wide range of friends. Some of whom are filthy rich, travel on private jets and invite him out for rounds of golf at exclusive country clubs where they are members. Then he has other friends he may have grown up with who have had tougher times and didn’t make very good decisions (even ended up in prison), but he treats them all the same and offers his friendship and advice.

I won’t lie. Because Dabnis brought up the fact that he does like nice things, but classifies himself as a saver, I did go on salary.com to see what he could be making at the very least and at the very most. I was actually pleasantly surprised with the numbers and didn’t give him a complete side eye when I saw his very nice German car.

And even though we ended up at a restaurant owned by a Top Chef winner, I also fought the urge to freak out when the bill came. He seemed at ease, he didn’t mind ordering a bottle of champagne and didn’t flinch with ever course that arrived.

The meal was luxurious. Every bite was delightful. The champagne was great and we talked about music and dating. He showered me with compliments and that’s no surprise. Because I slayed.

Black tulle dress, gold jewelry, hair fluffed to the heavens, red lip, high heels.

At the end of the meal, we had some of the chocolates that they made right on site. Delightful!

It was a good night.

But some of my problem is realizing the problem I have with really letting go.

This guy is a nice guy. This guy is a good-looking guy. He is employed and what was really cool about dinner on Friday night was with every course, he kept smiling when he noticed I was enjoying myself.

Even though he said he was really happy I was enjoying the food, you could see the pride on his face. I thought that was genuine and sweet.

I get nervous though when men keep saying really nice things about me, especially early on. Sometimes it’s game, and sometimes some men really are being honest and sharing their feelings, which is also rare.

Men tend to keep things to the vest, and I can’t decide if he is a hopeless, reckless romantic, or a man who knows who he wants and is trying to get it.

So far he’s said things like he feels lucky to be around be.

He said that I am a true beauty inside and out.

He told me that he’s really feeling me.

He told me he thinks he could spend hours and hours with me.

He said I have great hair, and skin and eyes.

When we talked about church and God, he said that he actually thanked God Thursday night for meeting me.

That’s when it was just too much.

Now he done went and brought the big guy into this.

Even if he did include me in his prayers, I felt a little claustrophobic. I told him that it’s just so soon and while I like compliments, just wait and see if I’m all of these things you think I am.

God, don’t let me ruin the possibility of a good thing because of fear and don’t let me not accept a compliment because I’m afraid it’s a lie, or that I can’t live up to it.

But I don’t want someone to blow smoke up my butt either.

I know one thing is for certain. I can’t break him off anytime soon. This poor man will lose his mind.

But I give him props for being very respectful and not too touchy feely. He’s doing a fantastic job in that regard.

So here we go…

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6 thoughts on “Introducing Dabnis Brickey

  1. This sounds like a viable candidate. He sounds like he truly likes you and likes being around you and why not? You’re friggin awesome! Don’t sell yourself short. You deserve to be showered in compliements. Let them flow girl and have a good time 🙂

  2. Ah, yes! With regard to your concluding prayer, we are our own worst enemies are we not? But still, the gentleman that you’re seeing now does seem like quite an upstanding man with a wide variety of personal & worldly experience.

    I admire that you’re taking his feelings into consideration; speaking from my perspective, I can attest that men do hide things at time when they’re insecure. It takes a secure woman to know that a man has feelings too, and to not discard them based on unfair judgements & assumptions of the entire gender is what a smart woman does. I tip my hat to you.

    I wish you the best of luck and add my blessing for your leap of faith. May your hopes be richly rewarded. 🙂

    • Thanks so much, Anthony. I’m determined to get this right. I just need not to have clouded judgement. But sometimes that’s easier said than done. We think ourselves into and out of things. I hope an upcoming vacation helps me recharge and get myself together!

      • Yes…it’s easy to do what we’ve done for a long time; even if it’s painful or detrimental to us in the long run. It takes a certain courage and ethical strength to do the right thing. I commend you for using your vacation as an opportunity to realign with your self. I think you’ll be just fine. 🙂 Peace & Blessings!

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