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Archive for the month “November, 2012”

It’s Already Been Decided

I’ve been wrapped up in knots about a major opportunity that I’m hoping happens for me.

Knots.

The anxiety has been making me nuts.

I’ve been very careful not to give folks too many details, for fear of jinxing it. And not even jinxing, but I’ve learned there are times you need to sit still, be quiet and keep your mouth closed. You go about your business and when it’s time to reveal something, especially once you’ve attained it, instead of each and every detail of the process, the fewer questions you have to answer along the way and even after, if it doesn’t work out.

One of my favorite mentors in the world basically affirmed me yesterday in a simple statement.

“It’s already been decided.”

Boom.

She is another woman of faith, who doesn’t beat you over the head with religion, perse, but with her actions, with her words of affirmation and comfort, you know God leads her life. No sign, no pamphlet, no guilt.

The history with this person is strong. When I didn’t know her very well, I stepped out on faith and told her just how close I was to failing and getting fired at a particular job early in my career.

She asked me why I didn’t come to her sooner. She didn’t see me the way the other superiors saw me. She saw talent, drive and promise. From that point on she called me a weeble (80s babies know what the weebles are. They are a family of egg-shaped people who can be dropped and will wobble around, but still stand up straight no matter what you do.). When she referred to me as such in a message yesterday, I just wanted to cry and hug her for a while. We used to do that too.

She addressed my enemies and said she would be personally responsible for me and whipping me into shape. She went to the mat for me when I was even starting to doubt myself as a reporter and writer and she helped me focus. She stabilized my confidence during one of the most difficult times in my career. She is a major influence on me. I am forever grateful to her. Words are not enough.

So, let’s get to how all of this started. She posted a video on Facebook where Oprah discusses how she got the role of Sophia for the Color Purple. She instantly had a connection to this book from the moment she read a review in the New York Times, and literally ran out of her house with a robe covering her pjs to buy it, and then basically inhale it in the same day. Then she bought more copies and gave them to anyone who’d take it.

When there was talk of a movie, she knew she had to be a part of it somehow.

She did not have experience as an actress and was scared and felt inadequate in comparison to others auditioning.

I was thinking about the opportunity before me. It’s bigger than anything I’ve ever done and if I had truly known from the start what I was getting into, I would have been too scared to go for it.

Oprah said in her video, that God’s plans for us are bigger than ourselves.

I wrote this as a Facebook post like two days ago.

She said she had to surrender and let go to whatever her fate was going to be and make the decision to be happy for whomever gotten the role if she didn’t. She said she prayed and cried and sang, “I surrender all.”

And she got the call. She was Sophia and it opened the way for her to get a national television show… and we all know what happened after that.

I told my mentor that I needed to see that clip, I needed to hear those words, because it was a straight affirmation for what’s going on in my life and the changes that are coming.

She said she knew it would speak to someone, and that she too finally had the opportunity to sit still and quiet her mind because she is on bed rest for her pregnancy (im thrilled for her new addition). But the biggest thing that hit me like a ton of bricks is when she said we have inside us all we need, but we have to trust it. “Keep me posted when you get the new gig. It’s already been decided.”

“It’s already been decided.”

Some people who have faith, they live in this everyday. It’s been decided. God has things already mapped out.

Some people believe in predetermination, where our fate is decided.

My anxiety lifted.

It’s been decided.

This is the video. I hope you’ll be inspired too.

 

Tired Of Shopping

I am tired of shopping. Like, I am basically done with my Christmas shopping. And I’m glad.

I guess it’s tiring because I want to give people good gifts and I really put thought into it. It’s easy to buy random crap and hand it out.

It takes effort to get something for folks and really take into consideration their likes or anticipate something they didn’t realize they’d enjoy so much.

Between online shopping and going H.A.M with my bestie back home at the outlets, for the first time ever, I don’t think I will have to do any last-minute shopping the week of Christmas for anyone.

I am proud.

I did buy some stuff for myself,  and I indulged in the Coach bag I wanted.

I signed my soul away to Coach on Facebook to get a very rare 25 percent off coupon for regular priced items in the store. Not the outlet, the store. They never have sales in the for real, for real store.

I tricked out my social media self, for a bag. Well, I tricked myself out to get a $100 discount on a bag. Either way, I tricked myself for an excellent deal.

I’d do it again. The bag is awesome. Even New Guy approved and said, the black is nice, but the brown says, “I’m here.” And it’s not brown, it’s… let me look it up. It’s cognac!!!

When I was out with my dad, and showed him the bag, he simply said, “For that much, that purse needs to jump on your arm, turn out the light when you leave the house and start your car.”

I told him, it was only a Coach, and if a Coach had to do that, a Louis Vuitton and a Chanel would have to do something ungodly, that I will wisely choose not to talk about with my father.

He shook his head. But he did say there is nothing wrong with working hard and enjoying nice things from time to time. For some people, it’s gadgets, for some it’s shoes and for some it’s bags.

But seriously, I’ve seen malls and outlets too much in the last week.

I’m fatigued from the barrage of sales emails I’m getting every hour on the hour. So I’m glad to basically be done with everyone on my list.

The only thing left on my list is my new laptop! Maybe dad will put in on it as my gift and help a sista out.

I have most of what I want and certainly all I need. I do dig the nine west perfume love fury, and I wouldn’t mind a spa treatment and I’m always down for gift cards to Panera, Chipotle, Potbelly or Subway. Oh, I would like a DVD of one of my favorite movies Best In Show. I could watch that movie a million times! It’s so friggin awesome. And I’ve been looking for Vivian Green’s physical CD “The Green Room.”

Oh! I have to say, I’m a fan of Ruby Tuesday’s menu. They have some really good red velvet cupcakes and this really great cider fizz!!! I know that’s random, but it was really good, and this chicken and shrimp dish was good on calories and actually tasty! Hurray Ruby Tuesday!

Who else has finished shopping? And who else is already tired of shopping? And that’s hard for me to say, I usually enjoy it, but I’m tired. I really don’t need to see another mall for a minute.

Even though I’m never home for actual Christmas day, I did try to put myself in the holiday spirit and break out my little “single girl tree.” It is no muss, no fuss. I plug it in, it lights up, it’s small, I throw a few dollar store ornaments on it and I’m set! I do like to put all the presents I wrap for other people around it to make it look real baller.

Fun fact about me.

I really enjoy wrapping gifts.

Like, I take it seriously.

It soothes me.

I should volunteer to wrap gifts this year for charity at the mall.

So I think I’ll wrap gifts this weekend! Whoo hoo.

Happy shopping dear ones!

There’s A Lot to Be Thankful For

Some friends exchanged emails with me today and one kicked it off by saying what she was thankful for in each friend’s life.

It hit me pretty hard that it’s been a wild ride for some people in my life.

So health is huge.

My friend who had the stroke in July, went back to work on Monday!!!! I am overjoyed and proud of her. She’s worked so hard to get her life back together and I’m just so impressed with her progress.

This year, I’ve had friends who battled mental illness, lost jobs, can’t find jobs and have been working hard to rebuild after really difficult things.

And thanks to God, we are all still standing and standing together.

This year, I had people leave and enter my life and thankfully there are some new folks I’m really hoping will stick around.

This year, I got a promotion and a raise only to have the company I work for change hands less than six months later, and basically cut everyone’s pay.

But, I’m still here.

I didn’t get put out on the street, didn’t miss a meal.

I came into 2012 with high hopes because 2011 was just a long period of darkness. It was hard to find things to be thankful for.

2012 has been a mixed bag of really high moments and some lonely, difficult low ones too, but I don’t have the same feeling of hopelessness or fear that I had last year.  So I’m super thankful for that.

I think we’ve all had our share of challenges this year, and yet, if we take a quick look around–we don’t even have to look that far, we’ve got things to be thankful for.

I have the most amazing family and friends, I work from home two days out of the week, I met a great guy who I hope is a major part of 2013, and I have tee shirts–real ones, not designs– and amazing photos from a real, deal New York City photo shoot to put on my web site that I plan to launch in 2013.

Progress has been made in my life and I’m thankful for that also.

I’m ready to open myself up in all aspects of my life and there was a period of time where I couldn’t say it or do it, and another where I could not say it or do it with confidence.

It feels really good.

This goes out to my family and friends. I’m so thankful for you all and if no one else has said it, I’m proud of who you are. You all are my heroes! May all of you have a really safe and fantastic Thanksgiving!!!

Too Soon? The Christmas Gift Conundrum

So, as we dive head first into the most aggressive time of year in the shopping season, I’ve been trying to get ahead of the ball by figuring out what the hell I’m going to get folks for Christmas.

Shopping for grown folks is already hard enough. That’s why I try to purchase awesome things when I see them all year long.

This almost always works out for one of my best friends who I randomly see stuff, then think of her and buy. So she’s basically done.

My parents on the other hand, gee whiz. I feel like I’ve done it all. I can’t afford to send them on vacation, so I guess I haven’t done it all. Something to put on the vision board for next year.

I have an idea of what I want to do for my sister, so I may stick to that. Then there’s my brother-in-law, eh, not sure what to do about him.

My nephew is easy, because I always ask my sister to email me his Christmas list and I just pick something, order it and have it sent to the house.

There’s one new addition to the list, and if things continue to go as well as they have been, I think it’s totally reasonable to get New Guy a gift.

Two of my friends have already suggested to keep it very simple, and under $25.

I sort of agree, I sort of don’t. I have a feeling things will continue to progress, and while I won’t go nuts, if I do get a more expensive gift, it would be tickets to something or something for us to do together.

My wish list this year is pretty simple.

I would gladly take gift cards to places like Chipotle or Panera. I would also take a gift certificate to a spa in a heartbeat.

Two gifts I will probably get for myself will be this lovely coach bag I’ve been wanting and a cute watch (gold or rose gold).

I feel like I treat myself in various ways all year long. 🙂

Any suggestions on what to get the New Guy that isn’t too much, but isn’t too little?

I love this episode of the Big Bang Theory. I love how they deal with the struggle of gift giving. Sheldon is too cute this episode. http://youtu.be/Q1_zVswbW8s

In honor of the shopping season and the impending arrival of Christmas….

Cuddling Is the New Crack, Exhaling and Displacing the Natives

Folks say you can’t receive with a clenched fist.

Word.

The universe has straight opened up since I cut all ties with my ex, and told Kyle Barker that if we aren’t heading to a relationship, there’s no reason for us to have sex. And I didn’t feel bad about it or feel like I was just missing out. He’s a cool dude, but this is getting pathetic. It shouldn’t be that complicated.

The universe has at the moment, rewarded me richly for simply opening my hand, and not settling.

I’ve been MIA like that best friend you hate who gets all silly when she gets a man.

Who has two thumbs and is ready to ditch plans/friends to just lay up all day and all night with the new guy until I get it out of my system (give me a week, yall)?

This chick right here. (Pointing at myself)

I am unapologetic.

Yall know what I’ve been through.

I’ve been basking, rolling around, skipping and frolicking in all that is going on right now with the New Guy.

We’ve already spent three days in a row together.

It takes me a while to find the right person who makes me feel “that thing,” but when I start feeling it, yeah. I go all out.

This time around it’s particularly delightful because, in the not so distant past, I was so hurt and so lost and couldn’t conceive the possibility of a great connection with someone and wanting to give and give in to it.

I’m almost afraid to speak too soon on it, or get my hopes up or say he’s awesome and then he does something absurd, making me look foolish in print.

I will cautiously say that in this moment, today, right now. It’s all friggin good.

Work doesn’t bother me as much anymore, there’s a little bit of balance. But I do need to get back to working on the tee-shirt company, finishing that damn website, and actually finishing my novel and um getting a new job. I got a lot on my plate.

But having a new, sincere person to add to my personal cheering section, (Who um, happens to have a penis and a tongue– yes, I’m horny. Leave me be!) it may help further the cause and ignite some inspiration or provide a nice little respite from the madness and anxiety of my unfinished projects.

But I basically put myself out there yesterday and said, “Hey, I dig you. I want to see where this goes. I’d like for you to stick around for a while. I hope that doesn’t scare you, but that’s what I want, that’s where I’m trying to go with it.”

To my delight and relief, he said he agreed and felt the same way.

Score.

So besides liking the same random music, we talk. We talk a lot and we laugh a lot and quote movies we love to one another. We do goofy physical comedy like falling down and rolling on the floor, or the best worst stalker faces (yes, I know).

I’ve already made two new playlists on Spotify devoted to all things sexy, and another for the lovey-dovey-crushy happy songs.

I’m out to lunch, I’m out of orbit. Gone and smitten. I’m enjoying it, so whatever. I’m grown. I’m allowed to.

This situation is a very good look. I hope I’m not jinxing it by even writing about it, but I feel like I’ve neglected everyone and the blog, being holed up with this dude watching dvds, ordering take out and cuddling.

Cuddling is the new crack.

If you don’t believe me, do a Google search. I read some article where a woman started a business where she cuddles folks for profit. Obviously there is a market. Here’s a video interview. http://www.fox17online.com/videogallery/71022128/News/NY-Woman-Selling-Cuddling-Sessions-For-60-Hour-7-12

This woman charges $60 an hour. She argues for the healing power of touch. And she’s right, but I tend to think of snuggling and cuddling as kind of intimate, even more so than sex. That’s why so many men who just want sex don’t want to do it, because they don’t want women to think it’s more than what it is. They know how powerful it is.

Cuddles=crack you read it here.  There is even a Meetup in England for cuddling (for free, I guess). Look it up! There’s like three people in it, but the group exists. Why am I not surprised?

In this digital hungry world, where we make friends online, through blogs, message boards and online dating, our tactile game is kind of lacking.

We are yearing to be touched. We are starved for just good ol’ physical loving contact (not necessarily sexual contact which is equally if not more important.) If you don’t want to admit it, I will. I needed to be touched. And I’m loving it. It’s awesome. Try it.

I once read a study that kids who are hugged and kissed by their parents are more confident and helps teach kids about what it proper touching and what is not. This article touches on the topic, ha get it? Touches? It’s long, but there’s interesting points being made about American culture and touching. This wasn’t the original study I saw, but I found you something similar. http://www.touchangels.com/articles/critical.html

We do go nuts about personal space in this country and are ready to go nuts on crowded public transport if someone brushes against us. Folks are trying their very best in the tightest of situations, to not even touch another person because of the reactions to even the slightest touch. Even when me and one of my close girlfriends were stumbling out of the stadium, arm-in-arm after a professional football game last weekend, she joked, “people probably think we’re lesbians.” To which I replied, “Oh well, hey we just voted for same sex marriage in Maryland, they’ll get over it and besides, men love lesbians.”

Back to my original thought. That was quite the tangent.

I feel like I’m entering a new era in my life. There’s other secret business that I don’t want to jinx either, so I’m going to save that for another post if it goes down. If and when it goes down, it’s going to be pretty huge and an awesome accomplishment/new challenge. Oh snap!

So think some good thoughts on that end too!

I was telling one of my homies how happy I was via text. After he cracked jokes asking about where the natives taking residence in my uninhabited vagina will go after being displaced, I said, “Dude, I closed my eyes and I exhaled.” (I have been searching high and low for that clip from “Waiting to Exhale” no luck.)

His response, “If you write a blog about it, that should be the title. ‘Displacing the natives… and then I exhaled.'”

I hate my friends.

In honor of the awesomeness of blooming lov…extreme like leading to lo…ve? I present Newness. Musiq Soulchild. Love this. Perfect song.

The Odd Return Of Kyle Barker

Just as I’ve been feeling butterflies about the New Guy, Kyle Barker has reared his beautiful, bald head.

I’m glad our exchange was via text. When he flashes “that grand piano of his” as Dorothy Dandridge would coo, in Carmen Jones, it’s curtains for me.

Here’s the thing. Kyle hasn’t really gone anywhere. I just haven’t been paying attention too him as much.

He’s kept up with me, sending quick texts, how are you? How was your weekend? How’s your family in NY after the storm?

After he crushed me other times, saying he sucks at relationships, he didn’t want to be a rebound, he’s putting me in the little sister box, I just gave up.

Kyle Barker is the Big to my Carrie.

I ain’t gonna front. We have energy, but the back and forth, the tug of war is exhausting.

So after a few texts yesterday where I said it was nice of him to ask about my family, he said something like, he tries.

To which, I replied, “I plead the fif.” (See Dave Chappelle)

He asked me early this morning, “Why are you so hard on me, baby?”

I basically said, I have my reasons, but they don’t matter anymore.

He asked me not to speak in code and elaborate.

So I did. I said in a nutshell that I’ve been crushing on him since forever and that it’s wack he won’t return my affections. And I kept holding out hope that at the very bitter end, we could actually be something real. But I accept the situation, and I’m over those dreams and aspirations for real this time. He brought up the fact that I was in a delicate situation, post breakup and he did not want to be a rebound.

He said the fact I talked about my old relationship so much, it “factored into his decision.”

I told him I cut ties with my ex and I’ve been dating and right now there is someone leading the pack and I want to see where it goes. He advised me not to mention my ex as much (which I’m not doing anymore anyway).

He sighed.

I thanked him for the advice and said, it’s not a big factor anymore and I don’t mention my ex, unless I’m asked these days.

Then out of nowhere, he says, “You’re a good woman, you deserve the best.”

What? A straightforward, non-sexual compliment??? So what are you saying, Kyle? We’ve been going through all of this, you actually wouldn’t mind being in a relationship with me, but I had to get myself together and prove I’m over my ex?? What’s going on here?

I’m picking the guy who is showing interest, who calls me, who plans to see me and won’t take an entire day to respond to a text.

Oh, Kyle.

Seriously???

Kyle is going to have to play the background. New guy has my attention and I’m excited about that. Just as I was ending my convo with Kyle, New Guy sends this text:

“…But random note. I have known you a short time, but I think you’re a really great person. You have great drive and such a positive energy. (Sounds like a hippie, right, lol) But I mean it. Have a great day, lady.”

That seals it. New Guy deserves my attention. If Kyle Barker is going to be around, he’ll be around. If our paths cross romantically one day, then fine. But right now, I really, really want to see where it goes with New Guy.

RELATED KYLE BARKER POSTS TO BRING YOU UP TO SPEED…THE SAGA CONTINUES

https://29tolife.wordpress.com/2012/06/15/the-simpsons-test-hints-hoops-and-bread-crumbs/

https://29tolife.wordpress.com/2012/06/04/my-funny-valentine-im-max-hes-kyle/

Hedging My Bets, Well Kind Of…

It’s ironic that on Election Night, one of the online suitors who I had exchanged a message or two with called me.

I was already feeling great about new guy, but I took the professor’s call, juussst to see.

Let me start off by saying this man is friggin brilliant. Brilliant, brilliant. He is a chemical engineer and he’s ridiculously intelligent. He shares his findings all over the place and is no doubt a published researcher.

I love smart men, but this was even too much for my nerd-loving ass. Just too much.

But I think he is a religious, black, Sheldon Cooper and it was a little too much for me.

My head hurt once we got off the phone.

I felt like I was applying to MENSA. He asked me simple things, in complicated ways, and while I think I’m pretty darn smart, I felt like Penny from Big Bang Theory trying to survive a lesson in physics from Sheldon. (Love this show)

He drilled me with questions, and I hate it when men ask me where I think I’ll be in ten years.

He balked when I said I didn’t want to have children at 40 and that at 37 if it doesn’t happen, it just won’t happen.

His response, “Even with the advances in modern medicine?”
Yes, sir. “Even with the advances in modern medicine.”

The most interesting and loaded question of the evening was when he asked me, after giving a long-winded intro basically if I had three wishes what would they be?

But I’ma give you the full.

“So, say you pull over at a cute little mom and pop gas station. And you see some old school glass bottles of Coca Cola, you decide, I’m parched and I would like some Coca Cola. You reach in the deep tub of ice, grab your Coca Cola, wipe of the condencent (not condensation folks) and you open it.

Out pops a genie and you could have three wishes.”

So I answered, first if it was Election Day, I’d wish for Obama to win. Secondly, I’d wish for unlimited plane tickets, and third, I left it open.

I joked with a friend later, that my third wish would be the ability to have an orgasm every single time!

So I asked him the same question. I said normally when people ask things like that, they already have their answers in mind.

I friggin kid you not people, when I write for you his answer. I could have never made this ish up ever in my lifetime even if I had Oscar Wilde, Junot Diaz, Toni Morrison in the room with me.

His answer:

“Have you ever watched Star Trek? Ok, ok, well they have these things called replicators where you can basically replicate anything. But, I would have a replicator that does not need an energy source of any kind.

Next, I would deplete the funds of anyone who benefitted from slavery and give that money to the descendants of slaves as reparations.

Finally, I would create a room with no windows that would allow the Holy Trinity to manifest itself in human form and allow people to come and consult it and speak to it. ”

I’m not lying yall. I’m not.

So I told him, “I’d feel like an idiot saying I want elves making Krispy Cremes in my basement after you wanting a room where the Lord shows up to have chats with people and replicators that don’t require an energy source.”

He laughed and said, he appreciated the fact that I was creative enough to answer and it meant I was quick on my feet. He said there are a lot of people who don’t answer at all.

I’m sure this man will be a great catch for someone, but not for me.

I’ve been in situations where it seemed like I was smarter than the man who was interested than me and I hated it. And now, yeah. Being on the other end, I hate it too.

I believe him when he says that he isn’t elitist, but smart people love other smart people. There’s a certain level they are looking for when they are seeking a relationship or the people they bring in their circle.

He said he was just a simple, southern boy with old school values, and I believe that, but eh, um, yeah. I’m not the right fit.

I tried to get him off the phone so he could eat his food and he said he’d call me back later that night, and I told him he really didn’t have to. Not sure if he’s going to try again. And one time he left a voicemail and had to include this is Dr. So and So. Really? You have to remind me you have a Ph.d?

I’m sure he is a genius, and he seemed to have strong opinions about family values, community and service. All of that is excellent, but um, naw.

I want a man who is smart, who is spiritually-grounded, who is kind and cares about humanity. But I also need a man who is goofy, edgy, and a little x-rated. Potty humor! I like potty humor! This man, I don’t see him going there, God bless him. And that’s cool. I applaud people for being themselves no matter what. Because whoever they are, they fit for someone, somewhere.

I think he is super nice, but eh, not for me. I’m thinking by the end of the convo, he may have felt it too. It will be interesting to see if he tries to contact me again.

Throughout this convo, with the professor, I kept thinking, “I can’t have sex with this man.”

So, new guy seems to be in the lead for the election of my heart…

From Outta Nowhere

Sometimes our most pleasant surprises are, well a surprise. They come from out of thin air.

It’s sooo early in the game.

But I like this new dude. I may have made a reference to him before.

You know, the one who ended our first date on Halloween night doing the “Thriller” dance in the street.

Well, Friday, we went to see a movie and had a great time making jokes about everything.

And yesterday, I invited him over to take some baked ziti off my hands.

I’ll admit it. I like this dude.

He’s smart, he has been respectful. He is funny and corny, which makes him more funny to me, which in my book makes him even more endearing.

Make no mistake, I’m not saying corny in a negative way. Corny men have an insane ability to win me over.

He reminds me of Kevin Hart.

He’s so short.

God bless him.

He talks kind of fast and his facial expressions are just too hilarious. They like bring it all home.

But in between all of the jokes, we have some pretty good conversations.

He asked me about what went wrong in my last relationship, and I told him the sad, pitiful story.

He had a very serious look on his face and said how sorry he was how things happened because I seem like a really cool person.

I told him it was all good, and lessons were learned and that’s just life.

So he paused for a moment, then asked, “Well, is there closure? Are you over him?”

To which, I responded yes. I explained that I talked to him about two months ago and I knew there was nothing left, when I asked him if he learned anything from all of this and he asked, how could he?

Even saying it out loud, I wasn’t giving the new guy a good answer that he’d want to hear. I knew I was telling the truth.

He shared some interesting info about his last relationship, and what struck me is that as jacked up as the situation was, he handled it with a lot of maturity, and the fact he could stay with someone for four years being kinda young, was interesting to me too. So, just off of stats, he may be able to help me break my two year curse/record.

My favorite serious quote from him was the following:

“I couldn’t let that situation stop me from being who I am. I’m a giver and I’m going to always give people my best. It’s who I am. It’s up to the other people. If they treat me wrong or badly, God’s gonna deal with that. I”ll always know I did the right thing. That’s on them.”

We know the words to the same movies. We like a lot of the same music, even the stuff that no one else knows about that I can’t convince my other friends to listen to.

I asked him a few nights ago, what is a song that always makes him smile as soon as he hears it. And knock me down with a feather, he said, “Yellow” by India Arie.

Now, yall know how much I love this song, because I wrote a post about it months ago. It’s not a very popular song, so it just freaked me out. He knows nothing about this blog.

What’s even more crazy is the night after our first date, I wrote a few things on a slip of paper, put it in a sealed envelope and put it someplace special.

I wrote down some predictions about this guy and just some gut feelings I had. Like I wasn’t going to be able to sleep until I wrote it down, so I could be proven right later.

I wrote. New guy’s name is smart, and kind (I didn’t steal that from “The Help”). He has a big heart and he has a story that makes him who he is.

I’m going to open it at some undisclosed time, if we ever become an item. Which I think may be imminent, as long as nothing ridiculous happens. I think in another blog I said he was 22. He is not, he is 28. So it’s not that bad.

Either way, there is a feeling about him. That thing that I’ve been describing to you all over and over, that I just wasn’t feeling. I may be leaning towards that gut feeling of, I like this guy. I like him. Goofy, short, younger, whatever, I like him.

I can’t wait to see how this all unfolds. I’m trying to be cool about it, but this is absurd. Like, we’ve been sending texts in old English British accents. One will ask, if you can’t hear it, how can you tell? One you have to read with imagination, and two, you write *old timey british accent at the end.

Now I am going to have to get the BBC show Chef on DVD, so we can watch it together.

I have met my goofy, nerdy, musical, male match.

And God, he smells good and has a job…

Lord, I’ve created a new Spotify playlist… My friend accused me of googly eyes last night. This is bad. Geez….

 

My Very First 5K!!!: A Retrospective

I’ve been wanting to write this post. But I’ve wanted to sort my thoughts and give you something great. So here we go.

I ran my very first 5K this past weekend and it was awesome. And for a first 5k, I couldn’t have picked a better one.

It’s called the Glo Run, and they do it at a number of large cities in the U.S.

I think it was a great race for beginners because:

1. It’s not timed.

2. It feels more like a party than anything else. There were dj’s at various points of the race. So people partied at the beginning, during and at the end. At the turnaround point, some folks stopped to do the wobble. It was pretty darn cool.

3. You can run, you can jog, you can walk, or dance.

So, even though I was nervous, I felt a lot better seeing all kinds of people-ages, races, shapes and sizes, participating. You should have seen all of the people lighting up the night in their glo gear! It was pretty darn awesome.

The event was held at the lovely National Harbor, a man-made mini metropolis filled with hotels, restaurants, shops and expensive condos, with an exceptional view of I’m guessing that’s the Potomac. It’s the go-to date spot for folks in the DC/Maryland/VA area. No one is going to say no to an evening at National Harbor.

The night was perfect. It wasn’t cold, it wasn’t hot. I wore shorts, but I put my race shirt over my Howard sweatshirt (had to rep).

The woman who originally said she’d do the race with me and had to bail, did show up with her daughter to cheer me on, and even baked me some amazing red velvet cupcakes (half a dozen, not a few, after all I was doing something healthy, she said).

So, being new to this I went to the back of the massive line. The front part was for the “real” runners. More on them in just a bit.

So yes, I was with the slower runners and walkers, which was fine by me. I refused to kill myself and I made sure to pace myself and just get a nice trot going.

So we get out of the gate, maybe five minutes into the race. We are still in the heart of the touristy areas with the shops and things and volunteers are warning our herd to stay to the right.

Then, out of no where, here they come. The professional runners. Yup. Keep in mind there were hundreds of people running in this thing. I’m sure there were a good 1200 folks. So it took some time to get everyone to start so they took batches of folks. Once again, I was toward the back.

We were warned to stay to the right because these folks, who must have been six-minute milers are trotting on like it’s nothing.

SIDENOTE: There’s a cool program called Couch to 5k. They have a bunch of followers on Facebook and a bunch of people sharing videos about their progress. It’s pretty reasonable and here’s the link to the website! http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml

The folks in my group began to say, “hey, isn’t he going the wrong way?” And then it hit me, and it hit other folks, who responded, “Nope. He’s about to finish. He’s already made it to the turn around point and he’s come back.”

Everyone in the slow group started laughing, myself included. We marveled at the folks we started seeing in greater numbers already racing toward the finish line. 3 miles in less than 20 minutes. That’s just amazing. I’m no hater.

But, the one thing I did hate.

I understand we are a society of documentarians. We love to update stati, take pics, instagram and the like, but I nearly tripped over people six times, who abruptly stopped to document that they were actually participating in the race.

This was annoying as hell. You came to participate. Take your pics at the finish line. Like seriously. At mile one, all of a sudden there were just groups of people, stopping, posing and asking volunteers to capture the moment.

I kind of took this seriously, because I wanted to challenge myself. But, I did have to remind myself that I wasn’t crazy enough to go with the serious runners, so this is what I had to contend with.

Folks showed up with crazy colored lights on, costumes, tutus. Two guys ran dressed like Chippendale’s dancers. No shirt, a tie and black pants. Hellllo handsomes!

One heavy-set, jovial, bespectacled man said something really cute as the professional runners flew past us in the opposite direction as we were somewhere around mile 2. He said, “Now see, that’s a shame. It’s a beautiful night. They are just rushing through this. I mean, look at the atmosphere, and all of the nice, interesting people to talk to along the way. Those folks, really. They’re missing out.”

I have to admit, there were moments that really pumped me up. Getting to the first tent (there were about two tents, one with strobe lights which made me dizzy and another with other types of less seizure-inducing lights), getting to the turn around point was huge and then getting back to the area with the shops because I knew it was close. It felt like running through an olympic village. Racers who already finished were cheering us on, saying, “You’re almost there!” Little children stuck out their hands to give out high fives. They really energized me!

As I got closer to the finish line I felt myself getting faster, I had a huge smile on my face. I did it!!! I did it!!!

Oh the joy! Oh the euphoria!!!

Well, once I stopped moving to thank my cheerleaders, when it was time to start walking again…that’s when the pain came.

I could barely walk.

I tried to stop and stretch. That walk to the parking garage was the longest.

When I tried to pay at the machine in the garage waiting in line, I began to get dizzy and nauseous.

No bueno.

It was harder and harder to walk, lift my legs. Pain was shooting all up and down my calves and ankles.

So I stood by the garbage can near the elevators. I stood hunched over, as people do after exerting a lot of energy.

I just opened my car door and sat with my legs out. I waited for a while.

I drunk the bottle of Gatorade I had waiting for me.

Waited some more, and lifted my legs into the car.

By the time I got home, I really had to coach myself out loud the whole way out of the car and into my house. I have another appreciation for people who are disabled and that kind of pain is everyday or they have very limited use of their limbs or struggle. When your body says it’s done, it’s done. There isn’t much you can do. It’s a wild feeling. You aren’t in control. You just have to push through it, but, you are not really in control you got to ride it out.

I ended the evening with an Epsom salt bath, which my friends is a miracle salve. WOW.

I felt a whole lot better and I could actually move.

I went to bed thinking to myself, I don’t care. I did it. I ran/jogged/walked for three miles in about an hour and 10 minutes. I wasn’t last, I didn’t give up.

Now it’s time to figure out the next race! I really enjoyed it.

The Honda CRV commercial, perfectly illustrates my walk back to the car.

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