It’s Not Easy Being Green, On the Golf Course, That Is
This is the year and the summer of trying new things and no fear.
Among the fearless things I’ve been dabbling in is dating a much older man.
It’s been going well. I have nothing but positive things to say about him and I’m enjoying spending time with him more and more. I was damn near ready to run into his arms after having the most ridiculous conversation at a club Friday night. This man actually said, “Oh you’re a journalist? You check facts? I got a fact for you to check. It’s nine inches long with a vein.”
Yes, that fool actually said that to me. The game is ugly and horrible right now. I may not be so nuts to go 17 years older.
Back to the real men.
The other night after having a small meal and checking out a local casino, where we pooled our resources and decided to get out while we could with a modest haul of $58, I asked him to teach me to play golf.
He is a golf enthusiast and lights up when he talks about it. I’ve always thought golf to be a snooty, boring game, involving snooty, boring people. I only have experience with putt-putt golf, which I happen to be quite good at.
But take away the windmills, replicas of the Washington Monument, and put me on a real golf course, hmm. I think I’d suck.
My friend has decided to show me a few things first at a local driving range, which is where we’ll be going this evening.
*Sidebar. Being in three consecutive long-distance relationships over the last decade, I forgot what a boost a mid-week date can give a gal.
So anyway, I’m excited to spend time with such a great person, who isn’t trying to get in my pants immediately and excited to try golf. After dealing with the crazy club guys, and watching amateur strippers do their best routines for random men all night and not get paid, SIGN ME UP FOR SNOOTY! I want to sip mint juleps in the clubhouse. Hell yes. LOL. There’s literally a course and country club like around the corner from my house and he plays there sometimes.
Even though we are going to practice at the driving range first (also conveniently located near my house), he said he figures I’ll be a quick study and we’ll be on the green in no time.
Being me, and having obsessions of the moment, I already have a Michelle Wie-worthy ensemble for when I hit the links for real, for real. I just need a cute visor, and I want gloves. LOL.
Not only do I want to look cute, but I’m competitive. I don’t want to suck.
I’ll keep you folks posted on the progress.
This situation totally reminds me of an episode from season one of VH1’s Single Ladies. In an attempt to be on a man cleanse, Val is trying to learn how to play golf, well after she buys a whole lot of cute clothes and proper equipment. Val meets Jerry, a handsome, charming and rich older man.
*I tried to embed the video, but I think VH1 wants people to watch directly from their site, because it refuses to work. So please enjoy the clip via the link. Sorry!!!