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Hips (and Boobs) Don’t Lie


I apologize in advance to my male readers, but stick around. This may be helpful.

It was time.

No, it was past time.

Some of the bras and panties I have in my collection, are old. On top of that, I’ve gained weight.

Some of my bras aren’t that old, but just beaten up from me doing what I’m not supposed to by washing them in the machine and drying them. (I’m lazy)

Usually, I care about my underwear game when I’m involved, but right now, I’m solo.

But it really shouldn’t matter. Whether I’m prancing around for a guy, or in my mirror, I should have on the right drawers! Old, ill-fitting bras and panties are just wrong and will make your clothes look unflattering. Everyone needs to seriously take a page from plus-sized models. They get it totally right. They never look bulky in clothes or when modeling underwear, because they are wearing the right size.

So the point of this post really is to share with women, that even if you are pissed you gained weight, or you are excited you lost weight and you are being cheap and waiting to buy new stuff til you get to your goal weight, please get the correct size bra and panties and the correct size jeans.

These are the areas you do not want to fudge. Stop being uncomfortable. You know you feel like a fool, once disrobed, with all those red marks all over your body, outlining where your clothes were embedded in your skin the entire day.

Dresses, you can lie to yourself.

Certain tops, you can lie to yourself.

But please, please, get the correct size jeans and bras and panties.

Jeans, it’s tough. Because going a size up for some people means surrendering to the truth, that you put on a few pounds. To some, it also means it’s a slippery slope to going up another size six months later.

But it doesn’t have to.

God, I remember a few years ago the fit of rage I went into when I had to buy my first pair of size 10 jeans.

I was damn near emotional.

Now I wear a size 12 jean, and now I know enough is enough. But I’m not going to wear certain size 10 jeans I have because it’s just straight up unflattering. Do I want to go to a 14? Hell no. The buck stops here.

The quickest way to becoming a size 14 is being a 12 and wearing a size 10. You’ve completely lost your sense of what fits properly and what your actual size is. It’s part delusion and part denial, which may make you eat more because you feel like crap because your clothes don’t fit, but you are too scared to wear your correct, albeit larger size.

But don’t believe the hype.

Keep it real, keep it accurate, and stop going out looking crazy.

Even while shopping for my new bras, there was a voice that said, “You are starting to work out again, you are wasting money.”

Then I had to shut up that voice and say, “I didn’t lose that 20 pounds yet. I need to wear the right undergarments right now, so I can feel good about how I look right now.”

I read a recent article in Lucky magazine (one of my favs) about how women are often wearing the wrong size and all they have to do is usually go up a cup and go down a number. I love the “pour and shake” method in the fitting room, to make sure your sweater puppies stay put.

Hot damn, they were right. I never pictured myself as a D cup, so I faithfully stuck to the C. D’s were for the big-boobed chicks. I’m not a big-boobed chick, or so I thought. So, I let my D cup boobies slip out my damn C cup bras, feeling uncomfortable and looking crazy, because I was in big boob denial. Keep in mind I know for real, for real big-boobed chicks who read this blog and will probably have a good laugh at my recent discovery.  

One friend, I actually wore one of her cups on my head in college. This friend has always believed in wearing a good bra, and spending good money on it. She’s totally right.

So good-bye and good riddance to my ill-fitting undergarments. Thank you for your service. I officially deem you, retired.

Lucky has a number of articles on the topic.



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6 thoughts on “Hips (and Boobs) Don’t Lie

  1. So true, I’ve actually bought new bras now because my chest has been hurting and itching in the old ones – in good condition but too small for times when I put on weight. It’s the same with knickers – I have different ones for when I gain or lose weight, so the same goes for bras especially when the last hooks are still too tight.

  2. Pria A. on said:

    You are so right! As a plus-size women I always make sure I spend a small fortune on my under garments. I’m always getting complements on the perkiness of my boobs. Also, wearing the right under clothes make you look smaller.

  3. I was in the dressing room pouting at my inability to fit correctly into my size 12 pants. My husband nicely asked if I wanted him to get a size 14. (!) I calmly and slowly said, No-wa! — and at least once a day I adjust my boobs, well my left one anyway- to fit comfortably back into my victoria-secrets plunge bra, size -not mine apparently. — I had a long talk with my pants and underware and decided to get back on my fitness obessed kick- I told them I’d come back for them soon- (I run 5 miles a day- do P90X- and take an Insanity class once a week) I may not be going back for my size 12’s afterall, but instead their younger slimmer sister size 8.

    • You are my hero! I’ve done P90x too and kind of gave up at the 3 week mark (even though I managed to lose 4 pounds). I hate running, but running does help get the weight off! I would be pleased if I can get back to a size 8 myself. I’m hovering around 10, more honestly 12-14. I totally feel like you are my physical counterpart! I’m so encouraged, thanks!

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