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Going Out Alone, It’s the Opposite of Pathetic

I realized I was starting to mature when I started going to the movies, restaurants and bars alone.

Just last year, for the very first time, I went on vacation alone and it was fantastic. I was lazy (sleeping in), I was a nerd (went to museums) and I did as I pleased when I pleased.

What sparked today’s topic is the fact I really want to see these pitiful Wizards play the new and improved New York Knicks. The Knicks haven’t been good since I was in high school and, well, I just want to see this miracle for myself.

Suddenly I realized that my local female friends wouldn’t really have much interest (Other than meeting men but they would automatically be considered wack because they’d be sitting in the cheap seats with us too. “And why do we have to sit waaay up here???”) and I have very few male friends out here to just simply hang out with.

Going alone to the game may work out well considering I want to buy the $10 nosebleed seats just to get out and have a little fun. I’ve had pretty darn close- to-the-floor seats before and it’s fantastic. But just to check out what this new New York squad is all about (I don’t even care at all about the Wizards), I’m not down to make that kind of investment.

All of your life, you are told–especially females– if you go someplace, take a buddy. Before you call my father, yes, for safety reasons, it is usually a good idea to have folks with you. However, you can have a good, safe time alone if you act with caution and common sense.

In high school, you tended to hang in groups and in freshman year of college it wasn’t uncommon to see massive herds of 20 heading out for a movie or a meal.

Some people (mostly women) balk at the idea of going to a movie alone. I’d rather go alone when I go see a documentary or an independent film that most people I know may not be interested in.

The toughest places to go alone for me were definitely restaurants and bars.

I’m at the point now where there are benefits and tricks to getting the experience you want as a woman at a restaurant or bar alone (including free drinks and meals). There are two experiences; wanting to just be out and not be bothered or wanting to be out and be social.

If you want to go out to eat, but you don’t want to be bothered:

Get a table. Do not sit at the bar.

Bring a book.

Play with your phone.

Wear flats.

Don’t wear makeup.

Wear glasses.

Don’t smile.

If you want to go out to eat, but be entertained and have people to talk to:

Sit at the bar.

Talk to the bartenders and people sitting around you, male and female, singles or couples. (Most people sitting at a bar understand the bar community rules and won’t be mad if you do talk, but feel them out. Listen, but don’t butt in on really personal convos.)

Don’t bring a book.

Don’t play with your phone.

Wear makeup.

Wear flattering clothes that make you feel good.


When you go out alone and are comfortable with it, you are in control of your social destiny. You come and go as you please, you don’t have to hear other people complain, and you aren’t waiting around for someone else to make a decision that you may not like and will have to suffer through anyway.

With the proper attitude, you may even meet new people and make new friends because you appear open, confident and approachable.

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One thought on “Going Out Alone, It’s the Opposite of Pathetic

  1. Pingback: Love From A Distance: The Girlfriends Edition « 29tolife

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